(Grandma Sparky) She Survived Abuse to Start a Movement with a goal to reach 1 Billion kids.

My mom was youngest of 12 children. So I understand community when I was growing up. So I have that in my heart and love and unconditional love and fun. What brought me to the blue ribbon ceremony years later when I was 37 I'm 82 years young now. Two beautiful pre-teen sons and my husband was a beloved and brilliant entrepreneur. But behind closed doors he was controlling and in intimidating and verbally abusive. I don't think he knew that. I finally decided to take my life, commit suicide one day. I just didn't feel like I mattered and I left. I w I I finally left and and uh him and I heard a little sweet voice inside that said, "You can't take your life." I volunteered to be co-chair for the San Diego Hunger Project. I would go to a school or assembly where I was speaking, kids would come up to me and said, "We're starving ourselves cuz we're going to lose our home." you know, my dad is going to lose his job. We don't know what to do. And a young girl came over and she said, "My mother's got cancer." And I thought, I'm going through a divorce. I don't really know how to help people. But I think if they felt as loved as I did as a child, maybe love would make them feel like they mattered. And I said, I have this idea. Maybe go out and honor people and tell people how much they matter. And uh I created the blue ribbon that says, "Who I am makes a difference." With their permission, I placed a ribbon above their heart and I cheered them on for their dreams and gave them two extra ribbons and said, "Go honor others." Then they would say, "You are the first person that's ever told me that I mattered." I never felt that I did. And that is not just one person. My experience of hundreds of thousands of people that I have touched and honored with this, I would say that's 99% of the time. Hi, I'm Jack Canfield. You may know me as the co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series and I want to talk to you about Sparky a little bit. Sparky and I met in 1984 and she came up to me. I didn't know her. She said, "I want to honor you with the ribbon." And I went, "Okay." And so she basically took out this blue ribbon with gold ink on it and it says who I am makes a difference. And she proceeded to do what she calls a ceremony. and she basically looked me in the eyes and told me that I made a difference and how I made a difference with kids and with the self-esteem work I was doing. I think it's missing that people put it people down instead of build them up tell them they can't make their dreams come true instead of yes you can. So I gave everybody back of hundreds of ribbons and they went out and within 3 months 35,000 people were honored. I didn't know loving myself. I didn't understand the need was so great. I would always honor somebody. Eventually, my story got in Chicken Soup for the Soul about a boy that didn't 14-year-old boy that did not commit suicide because his father honored him with a blue ribbon. So, this man at work uh his boss had heard about this and he honored one of his employees at work. And the man went home with two of these ribbons and he said, "Who am I going to honor?" Said, "Well, I'll honor my my teenage son." So he calls his son into the uh the uh study and he says, "Son, I want to honor you." He said, "I have this ribbon here." He says, "Who I am makes a difference. I would like to pin it on you and I would like to tell you why and how you make a difference in my life." And he went on to tell him how much he loved him and supported him and how proud he was of him. And the kid started to cry. He ran out of the room and he came back a moment later and he was holding a pistol. He said, "Dad, I want to give this to you." said, "The reason I have his pistol is I was going to kill myself tonight because I didn't think anyone cared. I didn't know you love me. And now that I do, I don't need to do this." And so, I started telling it in my seminars about the importance of self-esteem, about the importance of honoring people and acknowledging the gift they are and the the, you know, how they make a difference in your life. And so, I did a book called Chicken Soup for the Soul. And I asked Sparky if I could include that story in the book. And she said yes. And what happened was we got letters from all over the world, not just the country, of people saying that story was so amazing. Suicide is is the number two leading cause of death among kids as young as 10 to 34 years old. I had to do something about that. I could bring teenagers and give them the opportunity to honor people and show them how much they loved and respected them and cheer them on that maybe the kids would grow up in a way that they were not bullied, they were not blamed and shamed and think that they have to be somebody else. A whole barrier that we have to break down to break the stigma of being cool, nonchalant. You try and show them the best part of them. the moments about the person you're honoring. You want to take that and you want to be able to amplify it towards them. The conversations would be different then uh you'll never be able to make your dreams come true because you don't have enough time, enough money, enough, you're not pretty enough, you know, what tall enough and all of that. You know, we see teenagers who tell me that, you know, no one ever tells me that I did a good job. And I actually had a woman in a seminar where we were pinning each other with the ribbons and she said came up and shared a story. She said, "You know, my dad came to my graduation. I graduated number two from Caltech, which is insanely good, number two." And the only thing he said to me all day was, "Why weren't you number one?" And she started to cry in seminar. And I realized how valuable how this is and how few people do it. You make them feel good about themselves versus like the world that we live in where it's always like, you know, talking about what you're not doing correct, what's not working. there's a mental health epidemic for our generation. How can I like find different ways in my in my day-to-day conversations to use this ribbon as a symbol to expel hope and also just connections with others. So the ribbon says who I am makes a difference. It's blue and gold. It's the blue of the warmth and the calmness in the of ourselves in the sky. It's gold within the gold in us. It's cut on a angle like an airplane flying toward your dreams and it has a cheerleaders, a community of cheerleaders in here in the logo. What Sparky's done that's brilliant is she's given you a formula, a set of words and when you do it, it works. And we show the ribbon and say, I have a ribbon. It says who I am makes a difference and I would love to honor you. And it goes above your heart. I it because the heart tells the mind what to do. It goes above your heart and it points up toward all your greatest dreams coming true. It's tradition for me to take the spark from my heart. I'm called Grandma Sparky. Take the spark from my heart and put it in the cheerleaders. It is the sound that makes dreams come true. And the sound is in a one and a two and a three. Bing. Everybody has got a bucket that needs to be filled with love, esteem, acknowledgement, and appreciation. And most people are not getting that. Now that you know what the ceremony works, I want to honor all of you that are watching. Um, this blue ribbon says, "Who I am makes a difference because you do." I honor your creativity, your courage, the your risk-taking. You're getting the job done every day. Whether it's, you know, getting your kids off to school or it's going to work or just taking care of your family, you deserve love. You deserve to to know that that you matter. Would you accept this gift from me? Yeah. It goes above your heart pointing up toward your greatest dreams coming true. And it is tradition for me to take the spark from my heart and put it in the cheerleaders in your ribbon. It's the sound that makes dreams come true. And the sound is and a one and a two and a three. Bing. and tuck that into your heart because every time you hear a bing, you'll know that someone is cheering you on for your dreams from this time on and forever more. So, we have programs for kids in schools from elementary, middle, and high school. And we teach them how to honor each other in 60 seconds or less. And all of a sudden, everybody's giving each other a thumbs up, a high five, or going, "I didn't know that I mattered like that. I thought you didn't like me. Oh, you think I'm beautiful? I didn't think I was. Oh, and so in the teachers when the kids honor their teachers, the teachers go, "Oh, finally I think I can make a difference. I'm making a difference here." I would be thrilled to be able to have you participate in honoring people in your businesses, in your homes, in your churches, in your neighborhoods, and be a part of making that difference with all of us. Cuz who you are makes a difference, and dreams really do come true because of you. I'm on a mission to get 1 billion people honored. So, I need your help. Let's do this together. Let's get started now. And a one and a two and a three. Bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing.